Living a Life of Misery
by AzDaisy25
Summary: Aislynn Youngblood is but a baby when they were on a walk, Celine Youngblood carrying her two month old baby, the vampires attacked. When Aislynn meets Jem Carstairs, will it be love at first sight? Or will she try to shove him away like she has everybody else at the Institute.
1. Prologue: In Search of Refuge

_Young Aislynn's mother was on a walk with her two-month-old in her arms when the vampires showed up out of no where. She was forced to leave her pure bred Shadowhunter daughter on the steps of the Institute that she once called home._

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><p>The young woman ran, running from the rogue vampires that were chasing her for the little babe in her arms. The little baby cried and cried, only signaling the vampires where they were, the mother stopped in front of the Institute that was her home and laid the baby's basket on the front step, a note tucked tightly in the blankets that kept the poor little baby girl from freezing. She started to cry, but Celine shushed her gently.<p>

"Shh honey, mama's gotta go. I love you, okay?" She let a tear fall onto the infant's face before waving her arms around to get the vampires attention. The young mother ran off, leaving her poor child on the steps of the Institute which she once called her home.

Granville Fairchild walked to the door of the London Institute, hearing the summoning bell. He looked left and he looked right, only to find nothing, but when he looked down, he couldn't believe his eyes. There was a little baby girl with a little curl of brunette hair on top of her head lying in a basket on the doorstep of his Institute.

"Charlotte, call your mother down here please."

"Why daddy?"

"Don't question me and just do it please Lottie." Young Charlotte obeyed her strict father and ran up the stairs to wake her mother. Granville lifted the babe out of the basket as she started to shiver in the cold London weather. A note fell out of the blanket and he picked it up, unfolding it and carefully reading it.

_Dear Granville,_

_ This is my two-month-old daughter, Aislynn Youngblood, the vampires and demons are becoming a serious threat to her young life and I am leaving her here because the Institute was always a place of sanctuary for me when I lived there. Please take care of her and make it so that she gets the proper treatment for a babe her age and that she is safe._

_ Sincerely,_

_ C. Youngblood_

Granville gasped at the signature and closed the doors after grabbing Aislynn's basket. He ran up the stairs to his room and woke his wife.

"What is it Granville?"

"The Youngbloods house is unsafe, so she left her little girl on our doorstep." His wife sat up and took the little girl from him and Charlotte climbed up to see the new arrival.

"What's the poor baby's name Granville?"

"Aislynn." Aislynn started to shiver in Mrs. Fairchild's arms, so she covered her up with one of the blankets covering her.

**Sooooooo sorry for that slip up, thank you for noticing that two month olds cannot speak. Accidents happen.**


	2. Running Dry

_Aislynn did not choose to be who she was, she did not choose to have no blood family member, but no one else had ever seen here cry in years. For it had been five years since she got the news her blood mother and father had died._

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><p>Aislynn stood in the training room, throwing knives when Charlotte walked in. Charlotte cleared her throat and Aislynn turned around, looking at her adoptive sister, but she was the closest thing that she had to a mother.<p>

"What do you want Charlotte?" Her tone held venom that wasn't understandable. A boy not much younger than she was walked out from behind Charlotte and Aislynn smiled at him.

"This is William Herondale, but he says to call him Will." Aislynn nodded and Charlotte left the room, leaving Will with Aislynn. He immediately went for a window and gazed out it.

"Hey, um, Will, would you like to throw some knives with me?"

"NO!" His voice held the same venom as hers and she went to gaze out the window with him. She saw the blond head of Edmund Herondale and frowned when she heard a sob escape the boy next to her. Aislynn turned her head and saw that Will had curled in on himself and was sobbing, looking down at his parents.

"Will, I know how you feel."

"You will never know how I feel."

"I lost my parent when I was six years old, Will, don't make it any harder for me, I just want someone who understands me."

"You're in the wrong business if you want a friend, ma'am."

"Well then, sir, you wound me deeply." Aislynn then ran out of the training room, swallowing the knot that had built up in her throat. She locked the door to her room and slid down beneath the window, sobbing profusely. No one wanted to be her friends except for Charlotte and her fiance. Even then, it wasn't enough. Then she heard a knock on the door.

"Go away!"

"No, not until you tell me what's wrong."

"Charlotte, please, I'm not in the mood."

"I'll come back when you feel like it."

"Yes, please do so." Then she listened to Charlotte's light footsteps recede before continuing to sob. The sobbing went on for hours straight, until she ran dry of tears. She climbed into bed and despite of her tears running dry, Aislynn cried herself to sleep.


	3. The Cold-Hearted

_"Look, okay, I get it. I have absolutely no family Charlotte! Get that through your thick skull!" Aislynn shouted at Charlotte, venom heavy in her voice. Charlotte just turned and walked out of the room, sobbing. Aislynn slammed the door after her and sank down against the wall, sobbing to herself._

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><p>A couple weeks after Will arrived at the Institute, Charlotte told them of another arrival that would be coming from Shanghai, China. Aislynn still sat in her room everyday, sobbing to herself about not having anybody to help her through her plight. Then came the day that the arrival from Shanghai came to the Institute. Charlotte forced Aislynn to come out of her room to meet him and show him around. Aislynn stepped out onto the front steps of the Institute with Charlotte behind her and watched as the Silent Brother's carriage rolled to a stop.<p>

Aislynn had expected the boy to be rich and look like a spoiled brat, but he didn't, instead he looked like a man in his eighties, with his ebony hair lined with silver and his brown eyes nearly all silver. In his hand, he clutched a violin case and an old fashioned steamer trunk, which Charlotte took to have it put in his room. When the boy saw Aislynn, he smirked gently before she let some venom sink into her eyes, attempting a 'don't even' look. He just shrugged and bowed. _At least he has a sense of being a gentleman._ Aislynn thought to herself before he opened his mouth to speak.

"Hello, I'm James Carstairs, but you can call me Jem, everyone does."

"If everyone calls you that, it hardly does me any special favor, now does it?" Aislynn said, being as rude as she could so that he wouldn't feel pity for her loss.

"I did not mean to cause offence ma'am."

"My name is Aislynn Youngblood, but you can call me whatever you want, like, 'jerk face' or something like that."

"I don't wish to cause you offence, why ever are you so cold-hearted?"

"That is none of your business, now do you want a tour or not?"

"Please, I would like to know my way around here." She grunted and started the tour.

The tour dragged on for what felt like ages until they finally ended at his room.

"Here's your room, if you need anything, I'm right next door." Aislynn said coldly before turning and walking to her room to make her point. Aislynn opened the door to see Charlotte sitting in the armchair by the window.

"Finally, what took you two so long?"

"We had a little spat, that's all. What are you doing in my room?"

"I want to talk to you about the way you're behaving."

"Rant away." Said Aislynn, throwing herself onto her bed dramatically.

"Aislynn, ever since your parents died, you've been venomous to everybody, even the servants, what happened to the little girl that showed up on the doorstep eleven years ago?"

"Look, okay, I get it. I have absolutely no family Charlotte! Get that through your thick skull!" Aislynn shouted at Charlotte, heavy venom in her voice. Charlotte just turned and walked out of the room, sobbing. Aislynn slammed the door after her and sank down against a wall, sobbing to herself.


	4. Poisoned

_Aislynn awoke to the sudden and intense music, it was coming from next door, in Jem's room. She threw on her dressing gown and walked out of her room, gently opening Jem's door and peering in. The violin was perched on his shoulder perfectly and she couldn't help but smile to herself at his perfect posture._

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><p>*6 years later*<p>

It was what would seem like a normal day at the London Institute when Jem came up behind Aislynn and wrapped both arms around her shoulders. She fell backwards into his embrace and snuggled her face into his arm.

"Hello James." She said against his pale arm, causing him to smile against her hair.

"Hello Aislynn." He said, nuzzling his face deeper into her hair.

"Why are you so happy today?"

"Because of this." He whirled around and slipped to his knee in front of Aislynn. She gasped in surprise and looked around in the hallways for any sign of someone like Will.

"Jem! Not here!"

"Yes here. Will you marry me?" He asked, unclasping a necklace with a jade pendant on it before slipping off his family ring.

"Fine, yes I will marry you, now get up!" Aislynn hissed and just as Jem got up, he drew a knife. He raised it for a killing blow and that's when she snapped awake.

Aislynn sat in bed, both hands planted on either side of her, the dim morning light making its way through her window. She breathed a sigh of relief and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. When she stood up, Aislynn realized that she wasn't the only one in the room.

"Will, would you stop stalking me in the mornings?"

"I'm not stalking you, I am simply here to monitor your condition."

"My _condition_?!" Aislynn asked incredulously.

"You haven't been well ever since you went out that one night to the Devil Tavern, you came back and we figured out that you had gotten stung by a demon and were poisoned by it."

"Now it's all starting to come back to me, I was also incredibly drunk that night. But why isn't Jem here? He normally watches over me." Will heaved a sigh and Aislynn looked at him, concerned for Jem's safety.

"What's wrong with him?"

"He is, unwell, today."

"I wish to see him."

"You need to remain in bed."

"Let me guess, I hurt him."

"Don't immediately blame yourself."

"It _was_ my fault, I _need_ to see him." Aislynn started to walk towards the exit, only to be blocked by Will.

"No, he doesn't want to see you." Aislynn froze.

"W-what?" She asked, hurt that Jem wouldn't want to see her. She walked back to her bed and slumped down onto it, tears trying to fall down her cheeks.

"But Jem is normally so kind. Why wouldn't he want to see me?" She asked, the warm tears starting to fall down her cheeks. Will walked up to her and set a hand on her back, causing her to lash out at him. She clawed at his face and drew blood. He drew back and Aislynn looked down at her hands in horror, realizing what she had done.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." Will gently touched the scratch and pulled his fingers back, looking at the blood.

**A/N: Sorry for the slip-up in the prologue, thank you random guest for noticing that. *shy smile* Anyway, enjoy! :)**


	5. It's Getting Worse

_"It's all just a nightmare." She told herself repeatedly, only to have her words be lies. The pain of the demon poison running through her veins was too much for Aislynn, she screamed out in pain. Her scream continued for what seemed like hours, until she cut herself off, seeing that Jem was standing above her._

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><p>Aislynn awoke the next day, her hands were folded across her chest as is she were ready to die, which she wasn't. Will stood from his spot on a neighboring bed and looked down at her, looking sympathetic. Then, suddenly, something that felt like fire ripped through her veins, causing her to writhe in pain.<p>

"Are you okay?"

"Do I _look_ okay?!"

"No, I'm sorry to bother you." Then the pain left her veins and she relaxed on the bed again, breathing heavily.

"Where's Jem?"

"I've told you already, he doesn't want to see you." A sad pang ripped through Aislynn's thoughts and she closed her eyes as to stop the tears from flowing.

"Right." She turned her head away from him so he couldn't see her cry and started to sob.

"Aislynn, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, how about you go find someone else to pester?" She asked painfully, rolling onto her side. The movement only seemed to trigger the pain, but this time it became more powerful, ripping through her veins like a knife or a million little shards of glass. She struggled to keep a scream in as she rolled onto her back, watching as Will fled from her vision. Then she heard some whispering:

_"James, you shouldn't be here."_

_"Why not?"_

_"She doesn't want to see you right now."_

_"Yes she does, Aislynn has never rejected me paying her a visit, ever."_ Aislynn gasped and tried to prop herself up on an elbow only to have the pain shoot through her veins again. She let out a scream, it was a headache inducing one.

"It's all just a nightmare." She told herself repeatedly, only to have her words be lies. The pain of the demon poison running through her veins was too much for Aislynn, she screamed out in pain. Her scream continued for what seemed like hours, until she cut herself off, seeing that Jem was standing above her. She tried to reach up and touch his face, but the pain that ripped through her veins was unbearable, causing her to drop her arm with a cry of pain. Jem reached up and gently smoothed some of her hair out of her sweat-covered face.

"Shh, Aislynn, you'll be fine." Aislynn wanted to believe him, but the look in his eyes said something different than his words.

"Jem-" She started, but never finished due to the pain.

"Shh, shh, it's alright. Don't talk and you'll be fine." Then Aislynn flinched away from his touch.

"NO!" She screamed, writhing around in her bed. Jem backed up, hurt visible in his silver eyes.


	6. She's Not Getting Any Better

_Even when she was sleeping, Aislynn was never at peace with herself._

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><p>"Jem," Aislynn sobbed in her sleep, causing Jem to grip her hand a little tighter.<p>

"I'm still here Aislynn." Another tear leaked into her hairline and Jem swallowed his sobs. Her chest heaved with soft sobs, but she never woke from the fitful sleep she was in. Will watched as he _parabatai_ placed his head on the bed, still holding Aislynn's hand. He hadn't gotten rest in the past few nights due to Aislynn's never-waking condition. She had been poisoned by the demons only about five days ago, and Jem had been at her side for only to most recent two. Will had been there for all of them, telling lies to the both of them, trying to keep them apart, but now, he saw how valuable Aislynn was to Jem and couldn't believe himself for doing it.

"Jem, I'm so sorry." Aislynn sobbed again, causing Jem to become more worried for her, but she wouldn't wake up, even if he shook her violently. Then, Will flashed back to when Aislynn had fell into this continuous sleep.

_It was the first day that she had felt the pain, also Jem's first day to see her like this. Aislynn screamed in pain and shoved him away before she suddenly went limp in front of Jem.  
>"Aislynn? Aislynn! Aislynn wake up!" Jem had shouted before he realized she had fallen unconscious. He shook her gently, only to have her keep on sleeping. Jem sobbed and took her hand in his, only to drop it. Her skin felt like fire when it touched his, it burned like as if she had a fever running throughout her body.<br>"James," Will had said, reaching out to his parabatai. Jem flinched away and turned a furious gaze on Will.  
>"You lied to me. You <span>lied<span> to me. I can't believe it Will, you've done nothing but lie to me these past few days, I'm tired of you lying!" Will would never forget how much hatred was in Jem's words that day._

He snapped out of the flashback and looked at his _parabatai_, who had started sobbing again. Jem's shoulders heaved as he shook his head against Aislynn's sickbed.

"Keep hanging on, please Aislynn. Please." He begged her like he had been doing for the past day and continued holding her hand as if his life depended on it. Aislynn sobbed his name in her sleep, apologizing for something she didn't do and causing Jem to sob harder.

Even when sleeping, Aislynn was never at peace with herself. A tear leaked into her hairline as she sobbed Jem's name, causing Will's heart to break when he watched his _parabatai_ grab at his love's hand. Aislynn had been able to barely cling onto her life up to this point, causing Jem to worry more and more. Will tried his hardest not to show that he worried for her fore Jem's sake. The demon's poison had been running through her vein painfully for five days now and it had done nothing but cause her physical pain. It caused Jem the emotional pain, for her had been an emotional wreck ever since he learned about how severe her condition was. Will felt terrible about lying to the both of them.

"James." Aislynn sobbed in her sleep with Jem gently rubbing his thumb across her knuckles.

"I'm right here love." He whispered gently.

"Jem, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to." She sobbed and Will watched as Jem wiped his own eyes. He turned to Will, a tear leaking down his cheek.

"You can leave now, I'll watch over her from here on out."

"Whatever you say James, whatever you say." Then Will turned on his heel and left the room, leaving Jem with Aislynn in a painful silence.

Jem turned to look at Aislynn and brushed back a lock of hair. "I love you Aislynn, please, just, don't leave me." Aislynn had stopped sobbing, leaving only tear trails that ran down to her hair line and Jem with a breaking heart. She then started to thrash around wildly, causing Jem to stumble backwards. When he approached, Aislynn raked her nails down the side of his face, drawing blood. He didn't care, though, he just simply grabbed both of her wrists and held them down on either side of her. She continued to struggle until she seemed to give up and started to sob again. Jem released her wrists as she sobbed gently.

"I-I'm so sorry Jem." She apologized almost as if she was conscious.

"Aislynn, shh, you'll be okay."

"I didn't mean to hurt you, I can't control it." She continued apologizing, causing Jem to wander if she was actually conscious. He gently shook her, but her eyes never opened.

"Jem, how could you say that?" She started to shake violently with violent sobs racking her frame.

"Jem, Jem. How could you? I love you!" She shouted and continued her violent sobbing.

"Aislynn, Aislynn dear wake up." She didn't seem to hear him when she fell silent and, for once, looked peaceful. Her face relaxed and her breaths came easier and more calm. Jem grabbed her hand again, ignoring how it burned against his. He pressed it between his palms and gently placed a kiss on her fingers. He rested his forehead on his clasped hands, squeezing Aislynn's gently.

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><p><strong>Thank you all so much for reading my story, please review. These updates come pretty fast because I just can't wait, this is one of my quickest moving fanfics, thank you all again. :)<strong>


	7. Stay With Me

_"Jem?" Aislynn asked, finally awakened from the seemingly endless sleep she had been in. Jem gasped and tightened his grip on her hand as he looked up at her, excited that she was finally awake. But she didn't seem too happy, she saw the scratch on his cheek. "Did I do that?"_

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><p>It had been another day in the painful silence before Will walked in. Jem looked at his <em>parabatai,<em> a flash of hurt passed his eyes before he restored his scowl.

"What do you want Will?"

"You need to get some rest. I'll watch over her."

"No, William, I _want_ to be with her. I _need_ to be with her. She needs me William. Don't let your own selfishness blind you."

"Have you taken your _yin fen_ recently?"

"Yes." Jem turned his head so Will wouldn't see that he'd been lying.

"Okay, but if you need anything, just call for me."

"Just. Go away William." Will left, only sparing Jem a quick look of hurt before closing the door after him. Jem rested his head back on his folded hands and closed his eyes, breathing in the cold air of the infirmary.

"Jem?" Aislynn asked, finally awakened from the seemingly endless sleep she had been in. Jem gasped and tightened his grip on her hand as he looked up at her, excited that she was finally awake. But she didn't seem too happy, she saw the scratch on his cheek.

"Did I do that?" Jem shook his head.

"No, it was Will's fault." She gave him a lame face and he rolled his eyes. "Yes, you did, but let's just blame it on Will." She nodded and tried to prop herself up on her elbows, only to fall back down with a scream.

"Aislynn, what is it?"

"The. . .pain." She said, stressing the word 'pain'. Jem gently slipped and arm underneath her back and tried to help her into her desired sitting position. She collapsed with yet another scream of pain.

"Sorry."

"Don't be." She managed through clenched teeth. Her cheeks had gone from pale to flushed and Jem put a hand to her forehead. He drew back, giving her a look of surprise.

"What is it Jem?" She asked, looking at him with her pain-filled blue eyes.

"I'll be right back. I have to fetch Charlotte."

"No, don't fetch her."

"Then who do you want?"

"You. I want you to stay with me."

"Aislynn, you're only getting worse."

"Then. . ." She trailed off, her eyes fluttering closed. Before he knew it, Jem was left in a room of silence next to Aislynn's sleeping form.


	8. Getting Over It

_When Jem awoke at Aislynn's bedside, all he saw was the white coverlet splattered with blood and Aislynn's thin frame convulsing harshly._

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><p>It was nearing the end of the eighth day of Aislynn clinging to life and Jem was struggling to stay awake. His eyes had grown heavy and his head started to bob before he slumped forwards and fell asleep, soft snores escaping him. Will walked into the room to check on his <em>parabatai<em>, only to see him sleeping with Aislynn's hand clutched tightly between his. Will slowly backed out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

When Jem awoke at Aislynn's bedside, all he saw was the white coverlet splattered with blood and Aislynn's thin frame convulsing harshly. Harsh coughs escaped her and she desperately gasped for air. Blood flew and Jem hopped to his feet, regretting falling asleep. He tried to hold Aislynn steady, but she waved him off and continued to cough.

"Aislynn. Aislynn when did this start?"

"A. . . while. . . ago." She continued to cough until she was completely out of breath, that's when she went limp, again. Jem slowly removed her covers and replaced them with some clean ones. Despite the thin blankets, Aislynn started to sweat, her hair sticking to her temples with it.

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><p>Will was in his room, studying the knife that Jem had given him as a symbol of their friendship, before the thought crossed his mind. <em>What if Jem no longer cared about him?<em> Will though to himself before placing the tip of the knife on his chest. Just before he could drive it in, the door knob turned. Sophie walked in before Will could remove the blade from its place on his chest and she gasped.

"Master Will, you mustn't!" She slowly eased the blade away from his heart and took it from his limp hand. He was lost in thought, thought about Aislynn and Jem, thought about how he and Jem had been _parabatai_ forever. He cursed in Welsh and stood, walking out of the room and to the infirmary. Once he arrived there, he saw Jem removing Aislynn's blood-splattered coverlet and stifled a gasped when he saw Jem's hands shaking and him placing a new blanket over a sweating Aislynn. once he finished with that, Jem looked at where Will was standing and hid his shaking hands behind his back. He gave Will a cold look, but Will ignored it and bowed his head in shame.

"What do you want William?" Jem asked, his voice filled with the venom that he had been using every time he bumped into Will.

"Now its William? Really James?"

"What do you want?" Jem repeated, pocketing his shaking hands.

"I want to apologize for my behavior about a week ago. It was cruel and inconsiderate. You should've known about Aislynn the moment I knew."

"Don't apologize, it's clear that _this_," He paused to point as his bared _parabatai_ rune before continuing, "Doesn't mean anything anymore." He finished his sentence before turning to face Aislynn's unconscious body once again.

"James! Could you stop being obsessed over her for one minute and listen to what I have to say?!" Jem gasped at Will's tone of voice and choice of words.

"Fine, what do you want Will?" He stepped forward so he was only an arms-length away from Will and folded his arms.

"The night Aislynn got poisoned, she had gone out, trying to forget. What she wanted to forget, I didn't know. But when she didn't come back within three hours, I grew worried, so I walked down to where she said she'd be and found her lying, unconscious, in a puddle of rainwater mixed with blood. When I rolled her onto her side and saw the bites, I knew that she had been poisoned because of the color of her skin around them. I decided not to tell you because I knew you would worry and thought it would be over soon. It clearly wasn't and now I see that she means a lot to you and I regret not telling you sooner, it could've changed both of your lives."

"It wouldn't have changed her life, William, but it would've changed mine. I'm glad you told me now, but the only thing you left out is the amount of bites she had."

"It was about six."

"By the heavenly Angel!" Jem shouted and turned to check on Aislynn.

"Thank you for telling me, brother, it means a lot." Jem said, hugging Will.


	9. Come Back My Friend, Come Back

_Jem turned back to Aislynn, his silver eyes full of worry. "She's barely hanging on." He said, turning back to Will. "Yeah, but she's getting better." "How do you know?! She hasn't waken up in three days and her breathing constantly comes and goes!" "Calm down James." Will said in a calming voice. Jem nodded and rubbed his temples. "I'm sorry Will, I haven't had a decent night's rest in a while with this going on." "Get some."_

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><p>Jem had been sitting at Aislynn's beside for days since the last time he and Will had talked, still thinking it over. He had his hands clasped around Aislynn's limp one and his forehead pressed against them.<p>

"Jem, how-how could you?" She asked, still in her endless sleep.

"How could I what?"

"Goodbye, forever." She said, causing Jem's eyes to widen. He shook her and whispered her name when she did not wake.

"Aislynn!" He said louder, shaking her violently. Her eyes flew open and Aislynn looked at Jem, breathing heavily. He smiled at her and she dropped her head onto the pillows behind it.

"What do you want Jem?" She asked sleepily.

"You said goodbye forever so I woke you to make sure you didn't die."

"Oh, can I go back to sleep now?"

"Yeah. Rest well dear." She smiled and closed her eyes, falling asleep.

* * *

><p>Will looked down at his shaking hands as he walked to the window where he had first met Aislynn, and their meeting spot from that day on. He sat on the sill and gazed out the window, remembering his first day at the Institute. Aislynn had appeared, looking for a friend, a balm, to shield her from thinking about her past life and she had found that with Jem, but not him. It was a nice sentiment when he thought of it, but thoughts didn't really matter to him right now. He wanted his <em>parabatai<em> back, he wanted his _parabatai_ to be happy, he wanted Aislynn to be well again. But, knowing that she was only going to get worse, he didn't want to get Jem's hopes up.

"Will, what are you doing?"

"Oh, James! I didn't hear you come in!" Will said, standing up. Jem smirked at his _parabatai_ and they both walked back to the infirmary.

"What do you want James?"

"Aislynn wants to talk to you."

"So she's awake?"

"For the moment." Jem stated, hesitation in his voice. Will placed a hand on his _parabatai's_ back and looked him in his silver eyes.

"Are _you_ okay?" Jem nodded and they entered the infirmary, where they found Aislynn sleeping.

"Oh, no, not again." Jem mumbled to himself. He walked up to Aislynn's side and turned to face Will.

"Sorry you didn't get to talk to her."

"Don't be."

Jem turned back to Aislynn, his silver eyes full of worry.

"She's barely hanging on." He said, turning back to Will.

"Yeah, but she's getting better."

"How do you know?! She hasn't waken up in three days and her breathing constantly comes and goes!"

"Calm down James." Will said in a calming voice. Jem nodded and rubbed his temples.

"I'm sorry Will, I haven't had a decent night's rest in a while with this going on."

"Get some." Jem shook his head.

"No, I need to be with her."

"Well, you can't keep going on like this."

"I can if I want to!" Jem said, choking on the last words and bursting out into a fit of coughing. Will rushed to Jem's side and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"James, have you taken it recently?" Jem shook his head and Will cursed to himself in Welsh and ran up to Jem's room, grabbing a cup of water and sprinkling some _yin fen_ into the water, fogging it up. He ran back down to the infirmary where he saw Jem on his knee, still coughing blood onto the floor.

"Jem. Jem, here." Will said, shoving the glass of water into his _parabatai's_ hand. Jem drank it and thanked Will, handing him the glass. He tilted his head up and wiped the blood off of his face around his mouth. He stood and grabbed a wet cloth to wipe the blood off of the floor.

* * *

><p>Aislynn felt her eyelids fluttering open, hearing Jem saying something. She turned her head to see Will and Jem standing and facing each other, in deep conversation.<p>

_"James, you need to keep up with your drug. If not, you'll end up on your deathbed like Aislynn."_

_"Will, I would really hope that she isn't on her deathbed otherwise nothing will be the same."_

_"That's what I'm saying. She needs to get better, I know it might be impossible but she needs to get better. For your sake."_

_"I'm trying to keep nice thoughts in my head, Will, not negative thoughts."_

_"You love her James, don't let her down. Keep your own health up and it'll hopefully help keep her's up. Please, let her stay alive."_

Aislynn closed her eyes when they started to turn their heads towards her. Jem gently placed a hand on her arm and shook her, causing her to open her eyes and look at him.

"Did you bring him?" She asked, sounding more awake than she meant to.

"I did. Will, she's awake."

"I noticed James." Will walked over to Aislynn's bedside and knelt down next to her.

"You wanted to talk to me?"

"I did. James, please leave us. I must discuss this matter with Will in private."

"Yes Aislynn." Jem bowed and left, leaving Will and Aislynn in a room of silence.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"If I die, I want you to make sure that Jem live on. Please. I know he loves me and I feel the same way about him, please, he deserves to live his life longer than I."

"I refuse to discuss this matter right now."

"Will, death is immanent, I have already told the Brothers to stop applying the treatment. The poison was too great anyway. If I am even to survive, I'll be like Jem, a drug addict. And I refuse to live like that. I don't wish for him to see me in pain. Please, Will, do it for your _parabatai's_ life. Not mine. Please." Aislynn's voice was pleading, causing Will's heart to beat with sympathy.

"Fine, I will do my best."

"Thank you. I heard what you said to Jem, that was sweet of you."

"You did?"

"Yeah. Thank you for the sentiment."

"It wasn't just sentiment. If you were to die, he would never be the same. He would be so broken, he would starve himself and stop taking his drug. But, I will try to keep him alive and well."

"Thank you, that will be all." Will nodded and stood, walking away and towards the door. He opened it and ran into Jem, who looked neutral. Aislynn closed her eyes, wanting to fall asleep again, but sleep never came. Jem sat down on the edge of the bed beside her and she rolled onto her side, pain shooting through her veins. She cried out once, but the pain was continuous, ripping through her veins like an endless stream on glass. She rolled back onto her back and cried out again, the pain worsening in her veins.

"Aislynn, Aislynn!" Jem called her name, but she didn't even look at him, for she was in too much pain to do such a task.

"Brother Enoch! Brother Enoch please help her!" Aislynn opened her eyes, pleading Jem. She grabbed his arm, using the strength she had left to get his attention.

* * *

><p>Jem found himself looking into Aislynn's pain-filled eyes, her burning hand wrapped around her wrist.<p>

"No, James. . . I am out of. . . Time. But time is something that you. . . do have. Spend it. . . wisely." Her grip loosened and Jem looked away, not wanting to watch her die.

"But-"

"Just do it!" Aislynn's grip loosened a little bit more, but she didn't let go of his arm.

"Please. I love you Jem. And I want you to live more than I ever will, just. Please." Then her eyes went glassy and her hand fell away from his arm.


	10. Don't Mourn Me

_Will had never seen Jem cry so much. He cried until his tears dried up, but even then, he sobbed dryly, mourning his love. Will wished that he could go closer, but Charlotte had said that it would be best to let him cry it out, even if he had no more tears to cry. Hours passed and soon Will couldn't take it anymore. He ran up to Jem's side and put a hand on his shoulder, yanking him away from Aislynn's dead body. "What do you want William?" "You need to stop! This isn't what she wanted!" "And why would you care?"_

* * *

><p>Aislynn's chest no longer rose or fell. Her hand fell away from Jem's arm, but he never bothered to close her eyes, he wasn't ready to say farewell yet. Instead, he sobbed. He sobbed uncontrollably, his shoulders shaking with each sob.<p>

"Aislynn, please. . ." His voice drifted off, his sobs drowning out the words. It broke his heart, seeing Aislynn's motionless body lying there in front of him, her blue eyes wide open. She had barely lived a life. 17 years was a short time, though, if you were a Shadowhunter, it was natural.

"Don't. . . be dead. Please." He hiccuped, sobbing dryly. He reached up, closing her eyes before placing a kiss on each eyelid.

"I-I love you. I never got to tell you before hand, but I really, really do." He sobbed, kissing her hands. Then tears came again and he buried his head into the bed beside her.

* * *

><p>Will backed out of the infirmary, not wanting to see his broken <em>parabatai<em> sit there and beg for his loved one to not be dead.


End file.
